


Paralyzed

by GxmerGurl



Series: Fair Game Short Stories [6]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Relapsing, Self-Destruction, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GxmerGurl/pseuds/GxmerGurl
Summary: Everything was a blur.All he knew was that it was his fault. It was his fault that he had to die.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen & Ruby Rose, Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Series: Fair Game Short Stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594132
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	Paralyzed

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote this in like 30 minutes on my phone, so please excuse errors or anything. I am still not over Clover's death, and I just legit cried the whole episode. 
> 
> This is really heavy, so please be careful and take the tags seriously. I hope you enjoy! <3

He felt numb. Like he was alive, but at the same time he wasn't. It felt like part of him died and just this hollow shell that was once Qrow Branwen was left. He felt as if he died alongside Clover. As if Tyrian killed him along Clover. 

_Empty_. That was his main state of being. If he had done things differently, would Clover still be alive now? Would he be sitting next to him and tell him some corny joke or some dumb Marrow did years ago?

If he would have just let Clover arrest him in that jet, he might still be alive now. If he had listened to the man and not to Tyrian, he might be next to him in this very moment. If he hadn't listened to that damn psychopath that got into his head way to easily for Qrow's liking, Clover would still be here. 

He hadn't really grasped anything that happened since Clover died. An Airship picked him up, but in it weren't Atlas personal but team RWBY, on their way to some safe place. 

They had found an abandoned house in the outskirts of Atlas and decided to take shelter. Mantle was pretty much destroyed, so this house had to make due.

Qrow was just silent the whole time, looking at Harbinger that laid on the ground in front of him, still covered in Clover's blood. He felt tears burn behind his eyes the whole time he looked at it, and he was grateful that the rest just let him be. They noticed that he was in no condition to speak and they saw Clover lying there. God's know what they were thinking of him now.

The house had two floors, so he made his way onto the second one, just to be alone and have some time for himself. The house had some furniture here and there, like a table and chairs. But when he settled on one of the chairs his attention was drawn to something else. 

A liquor cabinet. 

He wrestled with himself. He had been sober for quite some time now. His hands were shaking, longing for one of those cold bottles that were calling his name. 

He didn't want to do it. Even though everything in him screamed for him to do it, he didn't want to. 

He noticed how his breathing was getting faster and his vision was getting blurry. He tried to quiet down his sobs and sniffles that were escaping him as he broke down again, sobbing into his arms. 

Clover died because of him. He was killed with Harbinger. His blood was on his hands. He should have never even listened to Tyrian. He should have never teamed up with Tyrian. He should have listened to Clover. 

He had Clover's blood on his hands. 

After everything he thought that his life was finally going to take a good turn. His bad luck was taking a backseat for once and he was genuinely happy with Clover. He didn't think to drink. He was just happy.

But he should have known better. It was the calm before the storm and he should have known it. Should have known that his bad luck was just waiting for a moment to strike. 

He should be dead, not Clover. Clover deserved to be alive and to be sitting here right now, not him. He was a burden and the reason the other man had died. He killed him.

He slowly got up, tears still flowing down his cheeks. He opened the cabinet and looked at the different bottles and sniffled, before he grabbed two large bottles of whatever alcohol was in there, before he sat back down again. 

It was getting quiet downstairs, so he thought they would have just gone to bed. So he opened one of the bottles with one of his rings, before he sighed and raised the bottle to his lips. 

The burn felt good, but at the same time made him cry even more. He now even broke his promise that he made to Ruby, Yang and Clover. 

He took one sip after another, just wanting it all to just stop. Everything to stop. His thoughts. His cries. His hate and guilt. His life. Everything. 

\--

The bottle rolled over the table, until it fell down to the ground. It had been getting dark, but he didn't care. 

He felt warm and everything seemed familiar again. He felt like shit, but in a good way. He felt warm and nauseous, not cold and full of self-hatred. His tears stopped hours ago and the only thing left of them where the dry remains on his cheeks. 

He was on his third bottle and everything was spinning around him. He didn't care anymore. He laughed, before he slurred to himself "It's my fault isn't it?" he looked at Harbinger and Clover's dried blood. 

He laughed again, but tears burned in his dry eyes "I killed ya Cloves. It's my fault." he looked at his weapon as if Clover had been sitting there on the ground. 

"Look at me! I am sitting here while your body's down in the tundra. I'm a fucking Loser!" he laughed again and shook his head. It hurt, but he ignored it. 

"You should be sittin' here. Not me." he got up, the bottle that was in his hands falling to the ground. 

He stumbled his way over to Harbinger and let his hand softly glide over the blood-stained blade " 'm sorry Cloves."

He rose to his shaky feet, Harbinger in a confident grasp. 

He didn't hear the fast steps that came up the stairs. Didn't see panicked silver eyes look at him as he turned the blade toward him, ready to stab it right through him, just like Tyrian did to Clover. 

"Uncle Qrow! NO!" 

He just saw rose petals and then felt himself being pushed to the floor. He rose his hand to his head, before he opened his eyes and looked at his niece, who held Harbinger tight to her body and backed away, tears streaming down her cheeks. He heard her quiet sniffles, before she let Harbinger fall to the ground and fell next to Qrow, hugging her uncle close. 

She sobbed into his shoulder and he couldn't help but cry with her. After that stunt he felt like he was sober again, only now realising what he wanted to do. He held her in a tight embrace and felt her shaking against him. 

"P-please uncle Qrow..." she was broken off by her uncontrollable sobs. Qrow had never seen her like this. "Please don't do this." she was quiet and shaky, but he heard her. 

"I love you. Y-Yang loves you. We ALL love you." she sniffled again "Clover loved you." that was what made his walls break and he sobbed into her. 

"H-he wouldn't have wanted this. Wouldn't have wanted you to-" she continued quietly and Qrow hated how much she reminded him of Summer.

"We are here for you. I am here for you." she said quietly, but he couldn't answer, not trusting his own voice. 

"I am here for you Uncle Qrow. Forever and Always" and she didn't let go of him for the next few hours, that they spend on the uncomfortable wooden floor in silence, because that hug was everything Qrow needed right then.


End file.
